I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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