Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your penis caused this!
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