i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
