Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize