He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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