I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
