well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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