In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
