I didn't shave. On purpose
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
