Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
