Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
