Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
