Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize