PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
