mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Buhtt sex?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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