Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize