You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
