Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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