New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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