It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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