i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
