Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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