if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
