i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
