I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
