Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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