i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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