Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
