im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Enjoy the penises
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
