All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize