my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
