I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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