is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
