The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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