I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize