I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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