my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
