Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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