It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
