When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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