Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize