no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
