Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
