You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
