he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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