At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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