He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
