matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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