Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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