you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
