i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
