I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
