i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
