I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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