honey bunches of taint.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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