god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
