First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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