This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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