and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
