Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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