i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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