I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
