first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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