i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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