Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
