My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
